Best Van Meals

I’ve been doing some cooking in lockdown which is great because it is a skill I never had, and still don’t have, but it is rapidly improving. I can now boil rice with 50 per cent success rate. Some creations in my van have been questionable at best, almost deadly at worst so during this pandemic my culinary expertise has leapt from non-existent to almost recognisable as someone trying to create something edible. When I first went away in my van I had zero cooking experience. I could make toast, a sausage sandwich and even combine milk with cereal, but nothing I could live off for months. The first breakfast I attempted in Spain created the smell of melting plastic, an incinerated ignition button and some half fried bacon. A following dinner offered up a burning tea towel and an increased risk of setting Fanny ablaze. It was not a great start. Not much has changed. I am less of a fire risk now but I still mess up rice half the time.

The title of ‘Best Van Meals’ is as misleading as the Leave campaign and the following ‘recipes’ are mostly concoctions you could do without. Other than the top three meals (none of which cooked by myself or Bani) these feasts are best left alone, unless like me you cannot cook or are at risk of starvation. If you want good food ideas, ask the BBC and Mary Berry, but if you want to know what Bani and I lived off for months feel free to continue.

Enjoy a picture of someone else doing some good cooking

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