Group 6- Jerry of the day #3

This group has slowly broken me in to how stupid they can be each day. Most of the ding-a-ling moments have come from blunders late in the morning or after lunch and have gradually increased in brainlessness throughout the day up to a pinnacle moronic exhibition. Today the demonstrations began even before the first run as one kid went full fool trying to board the first gondola. This was one of the gondolas where you have to put your skis on the outside in a handy contraption designed to carry skis safely on the side, so that you can rest comfortably on the bench inside. Considering these kids are approaching adulthood and believe themselves to already be there as well as being averagely competent skiers, you’d think it wouldn’t be too much to ask to just put the skis in the ski shaped holes with no dramas. However, one boy made an award winning drama with his performance.

As he went to put his skis in the ski carrier, he seemingly forgot about his poles. He somehow managed to wedge one of the poles between two skis locking it into position. The floor of the station is made up of small, unfortunately pole sized holes to help with grip and to get rid of water coming from melting snow. Obviously, the other end of the pole caught itself in one of these holes. As the gondola kept moving round it took one end of the pole with it whilst the other end remained. There was a slow build of tension as the pole tried to free itself but there was no escape and something had to give. As the pole seemed on the verge of snapping a resounding bang resonated through the station and the mountains and if there was any snow about there would’ve been an avalanche. It wasn’t the sound of a snapping pole but the sound of a slamming door. All the tension was released when the gondola door prematurely smashed closed to free the pole, whipping it around fiercely and luckily avoiding the boys leg, as it would’ve done some serious damage. He sheepishly collected his pole as the gondola left and got on the next one.

Half way up, and somehow not a second sooner, it dawned on him that his skis were still on the other gondola. As we approached the mid-station at which we would disembark the panic rapidly escalated that he wouldn’t see them again as they continued up without him. Luckily, the other half of the group were on the gondola that he tried to destroy, and were able to take them off for him and keep them safe whilst he caught up. However, he failed to see this action, only having a raging tunnel vision for another pair of skis on the next lift along and he began to manically scream at his friends for help. As we got closer, and the other lift got further away, the anger and worry inflated grossly as he mistakenly cried out to his friends to save his skis and I genuinely thought he was about to explode with rage and destroy another gondola. Still failing to notice his friend holding his skis he went ballistic when he erupted out of the lift for all of two seconds before the calming realisation that the skis had been safe the whole time hit him and he quickly silenced his moaning and walked away.

The other remarkably ridiculous affair is how often one girl failed to stop with the group. Once is fine and twice is understandable but doing the same mistake a million times is just absurd. I always thought I’d be giving this girl a positive award for always smiling, listening well and putting up with all the boys but for her constant roaming she’s going to have to get the ding-a-ling. She is the only girl in the group and the bundle of guys are hard to put up with, and I can very much empathise with that, but I didn’t think it would drive her to repeatedly try and escape. Every time we came to a stop, it would always take a while to find her as she’d be somewhere else on the mountain. The whole group struggle with the accepted practice of behind and below but she’s taken it to a new level. Sometimes she’ll be way above us and other times she’ll be half a run below. Occasionally she’ll be across the slope and other times she’s so far away she might as well be in Narnia, and once or twice I’ve just failed to find her. I don’t know whether it’s the boy’s smell or chat or maybe just a lack of awareness, but for her frequent wayfaring she is the Jerry of the day.

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